Aaannnddd....I can't think of anything to call this right now. An update, I guess...

So, I figured it's about time for me to write something, seeing as how I haven't for the entirety of this year.  And this in spite of me deciding that I was going to actually write something at least once a month.  Heh.

Life is...well, good :D  Lilly is growing like the proverbial weed.  We did a formal wedding thing last month which had me supremely glad that we'd done an informal wedding thing the year before, because if that ridiculousness was what formal weddings are like all the time...holy shit.  And ours wasn't even that formal!

Anyway, over all the wedding was awesome.  Best of all, my bestfriend of 11 years, my Sister From Another Mister, if you will, got to come too.  This is a huuuge deal, since Fiona and I have been penpals for pretty much our entire adult lives, and have only just met.  We spent a month hanging out, seeing the sites of the rockies, crocheting together - and she taught me to sew! - cooking, and playing with Lilly.  My only complaint is that it didn't last anywhere near long enough.  Though, now we get to be co-contributors to a blog about crafty shit...assuming we ever post, that is ;)  We both tend to procrastinate a fair deal.  Especially these days, what with Responsibilities and all.

I miss her like crazy.  It was somewhat surreal at first, having her a mere room away rather than half a planet.  I kept having to stop myself from messaging her rather than just popping in to tell her something.  And now that she's gone, I keep having to stop myself from turning around to tell her something.  In many ways it was like she had always been here - and in many ways it's like she never left to go back home.

I fiiiiinally got to meet my husband's siblings, too.  I like them all, though I didn't really get to spend too much time with them.  Their visits were necessarily short, with work and things, and I was so busy and frazzled from the wedding that there wasn't too much time for actual visits.

But yeah.  Life is good.  Lilly has learned how to crawl, has gotten her first tooth (and is working on another), and is on the brink of figuring out how to stand up by herself, all within the last month and a bit.  It's fantastic, watching her grow and figure things out.  The look of determination on her little face is fantastic.  And, she's still got her blue eyes!  My blue-eyed 1/4 Asian baby :D  I can't imagine life without her, really.  She's perfect.

Motivational Motivation

So, I had a brainwave the other day...and no, it didn't hurt. :P

Anyway, I got it into my head that I really, really want this corset, and since I need to save up money for it (and I'm terrible at this), I figured I'd need a sweet plan to do this. So I decided that every time I go to the gym, go swimming, or whatever else (like skating or walking to the Maligne and back), I was going to put $1 in a jar.

The purpose of this is twofold: 1) I save up for a sweet-ass corset that's gorgeous and handmade, and 2) by the time I've saved up enough money for it, I'll be in killer shape.

So far, motivational motivation is working. I've only been at this a few days, and I already have $11 of the $145 ish I need. And as for the money itself...it's money I'd otherwise be spending on junk food.

>:D

Now I just need to motivate myself to start putting away funds for Wales...because I still haven't done that yet, and need a prod in the buttocks as much as I need to slim down said buttocks.

Hahahaha...buttocks.

And, on that note, I'm going to go read the Fitzhugh. Because it's Fitzhugh day. Woot!

Ow.

So my prediction of needing lots of chocolate and distracting things came true, a little earlier than I'd anticipated. I broke up with my boyfriend on Friday.

It's the first time I've ever done this, or gone through the emotions associated with it. I saw it coming a mile off (we haven't been happy together for, probably, about 3.5 of the 7 years we were together), but it still surprised me how much it hurt. I keep having to remind myself that I'm single now, that it's acutally okay for me to look at other men and that it's no longer risque or border-line forbidden to put them in my thoughts rather than him...I think I'll probably have to remind myself of this a lot over the next little while.

The other thing - I've no longer got this...protective barrier, almost, between me and the rest of mankind (and some womankind), because I can no longer truthfully say 'Taken!' when anyone I don't like asks. Or anyone I do like, I suppose...since being 'taken' means I have one of those labels that other people get and understand and so I'd have a point of commonality with the rest of the world. Except that often backfired since people would ask me questions I wouldn't understand the need for, or be able to come up with answers for...so it's a bit of a toss up.

Still. I now find myself facing the idea of living in Alberta alone. Not just without Bean, but alone in the sense that I don't even have the idea of a prospective visit to look forward too. Well, a prospective visit from my friends, which would be awesome, and possibly family, but it's not the same thing...

I shouldn't whinge, though. In a way, I've been asking for this, hoping for it but never really having the strength to carry it out on my own. It's not a good way to think; the resentment builds up. The resentment's all gone, now, since now I'm sort of in that place I go when I don't want to confront my emotions (seems like I'm there a lot), so I'm actually a little numb right now...

I'm also unsure if I should mention my newfound status to anyone at work. It feels like I'm imposing on them. I'm also a little afraid of the I-told-you-so faces that I might incur, though that's silly because no one is going to be making that face at me. I hope, anyway. At the same time, this is one of those things you're supposed to tell your work mates, isn't it? The ones who would care, at any rate...

I dunno. I just dunno. I'm free, but still feel tied down. I haven't the foggiest idea how to go about meeting anyone else - not that I want to meet anyone else. Seven years of a relationship, one that lasted pretty much my entire adult life thus far, and I'm still completely ignorant about some things.

But I'm free. I just have to keep reminding myself of this. Eventually it might sink in.

A Whole New Year...

In which to screw up.

Hee hee...no, not really.

I've decided I'm opening a savings account on Friday, which I really should have done about five weeks ago, but never actually got around to. Consequently, I don't think I'm going to have enough money to go to Vancouver with Bean before she goes. It's just really difficult to save with the first few paycheques at a new job, especially when the starting of that new job cooincides with Christmas and similar.

Anyway, now that it's 2011, it's time to actually start saving shit, since I've only got a few months before my self-imposed date of hauling my ass to Wales, and I really don't want a repeat of the last time I tried (and failed) to save up and go. That would just blow.

Bean's leaving at the end of the month, too. She's already booked her ticket to the UK, which is nice, especially since she'll be getting there on the 14th of Feb.

Something tells me I'm going to need a lot of chocolate at the end of the month. And chick flicks. And movies in which shit blows up a lot. Mindless violence. That sort of thing. Because I'm going to need a hell of a lot of distracting.

January is also editing month, for me. I've started going over The Hollow of White Hazel, looking for and targeting all the bits where it sucks...which is pretty much all of it, but I now have a better idea of where the biggest problem areas are, and how I can fix them, and even a better idea of where the story's going. Which still is, currently, nowhere. But it's a better nowhere than it was. If that made any sense.

I'm not entirely sure that it did. Oh well.

Note To Self:

Never drink tequilla again. EVER.

*Sigh*

Oh man.

Today was the first day I've worked where we were at full capacity, and I was scheduled to work it alone. Still, two of the managers came in to help out, which made me incredibly happy, since I didn't have to check in 89 people by myself.

In spite of the phone ringing practially off the hook, and people coming in every five minutes to ask for stuff, I actually had fun. Except for the embarrassing bits that involved my boss regailing the other manager with stories and impressions of how utterly smashed off my gourd I was at his Christmas dinner (I blame him; he made me do shots, and then play rockband. It wasn't the four bottles of raspberry cider I drank that got me that way. Not at all.). That bit was certainly entertaining, for other people, since I apparently kept offering to help clean up whilst simultaneously being unable to stand up. I don't remember this at all.

But no worries. Apart from one or two disasters that were averted because he was there, the night went swimmingly. Everything even balanced at the end, though there were reciepts that got lost in the shuffle, and my feet hurt something awful, but no one got overly pissed and screamed and yelled and everyone was helped to the best of our ability, so I'm calling this evening a win. Bean even got me chocolate >:D

Also, the snowboarding pics went up on Facebook, so I'm going to have to get Bean to snag a few. I've just got the one or two that I took while I was there, which aren't many because I spent most of my time trying to stand up.

Right. I think I'm going to spend the next few hours playing with some stories of mine, and then sleep for a million years. I'm debating, at the moment, using tomorrow to go in search of a 2.75mm and a 3.5mm crochet hook, or if I should just stick with my 2.55mm and 3.75mm hooks to make Chris' socks with...I suppose it depends on how much they are.

Whatever. Any excuse to get back to the yarn store, though I'm thinking any major purchases from there will have to wait. I kidna went a little overboard yesterday, with sushi.

Oh man. Sushi. *drool*

Wee

So tomorrow (which is technically today), I get to learn how to snowboard. My boss gave me a ride to work tonight, because he's just that awesome, and on the way he let me in on his plan, which is to stand by and watch us noobs fail miserably at staying upright while taking pictures of our various indignitites. Should be entertaining, later, if nothing else. >:D

I'm still a little apprehensive about learning how to snowboard, but it's mostly the apprehension of someone approaching something they've never done before. Jimmy's batteries are still showing as full, so that means I should be able to get a bunch of awesome pics. Though, I haven't been too thrilled with his battery life, these past couple weeks. I'm hoping that it running down between me taking a picture, turning it off for ten minutes, and then trying to take a picture again is because it was bloody cold out, and not because the battery is a bag of dicks. Because I really can't afford a new one, right now.

I did get one really awesome picture of the eclipse last night, just before the moon was completely covered. Just the one, mind; my hands shook for every other picture, except when the moon was half covered. But of the actual eclipse itself, I got just one. I've got another 132 years to practice, though, before the next eclipse cooincides with the Solstice, like it did this year.

Leastways, in this part of the world.

I wrote a quick ecksmas drabble; it's up on Dev. Co, and I sent it to a friend of mine to cheer her up, though there's nothing really cheerful about it, other than it being proof that I'm nuts. And bored. And bored to death. And also, that snowmen are creepy and I think if I have to spend much more time being forced to listen to ecksmas music, I might just kill someone. I have to work ecksmas eve, and ecksmas day, and New Years eve - and day - which works out for me because of the whole stat pay thing, but not so much in the whole not murdering someone vein, since I'll have to spend eight hours on all of those nights listening to all the same songs that I've been listening to for the past week or so.

I've solved this problem, though; headphones, in one ear, on night shifts. Wipes the bad taste of overplayed ecksmas music right out of my brain. With Opeth. >:D

Less than three hours before my boss comes to get me, though...and then it's off to the mountain to kill myself on a snowboard. Yay!

Bah

So, this bloody computer lets me post stuff, but it doesn't let me look at this blog. I think it's something to do with the code for the background not being embedded, or something...I dunno. I just know it's annoying, and, also, a big bag of dicks.

I like that phrase: Bag of dicks. It makes me happy, for reasons I can't really explain. I can say things like "That drink was a bag of dicks," or, "Go suck a bag of dicks," and I get a smile on my face, every time. Athena and I have taken to using "Bagofdicks!" as a swear. It's an amazing amount of fun, though we try to keep it out of the public ear - and especially not use it at work.

I even made a tag that just says "Bag of dicks". >:D

But yeah. In other news, Head Office has declared that it's Christmas music for the rest of the Christmas season, or else we get canned. I don't think it'll go that far...I hope...but the end result is that I have to listen to bloody christmas music for eight hours straight, which is both painful and annoying. And a total bag of dicks.

Hee hee hee.

Also, it's orientation day on Wed, up at the ski-hill. So I'm going to learn to snowboard. >:D Should be fun. I haven't skiied in years...many years...but I was never much good at it anyway, so trying something new shouldn't be too bad. I hope. At least two guests have injured themselves up there.

So yeah, little terrifying. But it'll all be good. I hope.

Other than that...

Not much happening. As always, I'm marvelling at my capacity of screaming into the darkness of the internet, like what I use twitter for...no one reads this damn thing, so far as I know, and screaming into the darkness is...cathartic.

I likes it.